“It’s not that serious; he was just joking.” A teenage girl gets groped at a party, and everyone shrugs it off with, “Boys will be boys.”
“It’s Not That Serious, He Was Just Joking”, a teenage girl gets groped at a party, and everyone shrugs it off with, “Boys will be boys.” A woman gets catcalled on her way to work—her friend tells her, “Take it as a compliment.” When someone reports rape, the first question asked is, “What were you wearing?” These are not isolated incidents. These are symptoms of a society infected by rape culture, where sexual violence is treated as a misunderstanding, a joke, or even the victim’s fault.
Rape culture isn’t just about individual acts of violence. It’s a system that teaches people—especially women—that harassment and abuse are inevitable. It’s the unspoken rules that make speaking out harder than staying silent. And the scariest part? It’s so deeply woven into everyday life that many don’t even notice it. Think about the way we excuse predatory behavior as “locker room talk”. These narratives shape societal attitudes, convincing us that sexual violence is the result of poor decisions rather than a crime.
How Sexual Violence Becomes 'Normal'
At the core of rape culture lies the normalization of abusive behaviours. It manifests in subtle ways—victim-blaming, trivializing harassment, or excusing misconduct. For example, victims are asked, “What were you wearing?” or “Why didn’t you fight back?” Such attitudes shift responsibility away from perpetrators and make sexual abuse seem like a consequence of poor choices, rather than a criminal act.
Shockingly, in the UK alone, conviction rates for sexual offences are staggeringly low, with only 3% of reported sexual abuse cases resulting in a charge. This indicates not only institutional failures but also societal reluctance to treat sexual violence with the gravity it demands.
1. Victim-Blaming: “She Shouldn’t Have Dressed That Way”
Victim-blaming is one of the most insidious practices, placing the responsibility for abuse on the survivor instead of the perpetrator. 73% of women in the UK have experienced sexual harassment, yet many don’t report it out of fear of judgment. Victims are often asked, “What were you wearing?” or “Why didn’t you leave sooner?” This rhetoric doesn’t just silence survivors—it enables abusers to escape accountability.
A survivor recalls: “He told me it was my fault for leading him on. I started believing him.” This kind of gaslighting makes it easier for abusers to manipulate their victims and harder for survivors to seek help.
2. Sexual Harassment as “Flirting”
Catcalling and inappropriate comments are still dismissed as harmless banter. However, sexual violence begins with these everyday encounters. According to a 2023 survey, more than 70% of young women in the UK have experienced sexual harassment in public spaces. Treating harassment as a joke teaches both men and women that crossing boundaries is acceptable.
One woman described her experience: “When I confronted him, he said, ‘Can’t you take a joke?’ That’s when I realized—he didn’t think he did anything wrong.”
3. Media and the Glorification of Abuse
Films, music, and advertising perpetuate harmful stereotypes, portraying women as objects and reinforcing the idea that men are entitled to their bodies. These depictions fuel rape culture by romanticizing coercion and portraying dominance as attractive. In 2022, studies showed that exposure to sexually objectifying content increases the likelihood of men developing aggressive attitudes toward women.
4. Silence and Stigma
The most dangerous aspect of rape culture is how it silences survivors. Only 16% of victims report sexual offenses in the UK, not because they don’t want justice but because they fear disbelief and blame. This creates a vicious cycle—if no one speaks up, abusers feel emboldened, and the cycle of violence continues.
The honeymoon phase in abusive relationships makes things even harder. After an incident, the abuser may apologize, gift flowers, or promise change, leading victims to believe that things will get better. But this illusion of change only strengthens the emotional trap.
5. Internet Trolls and Online Abuse
Online platforms are breeding grounds for harassment, with 19% of girls aged 11-16 reporting receiving sexual images. The anonymity of the internet allows abusers to act without consequence, intensifying the normalization of abuse.
The Link Between Rape Culture and Sexual Violence
Unchecked toxic behaviors feed into larger forms of sexual violence. For instance, in many regions, victims from minority backgrounds face abuse for 1.5 times longer before seeking help. The cumulative effect of dismissive attitudes, harassment, and victim-blaming makes GBV not just a personal tragedy but a societal failure.
What’s even more alarming is that institutions meant to protect survivors often fall short. With 73% of domestic abuse victims being women, the lack of adequate response perpetuates violence across generations.
How You Can Help Break the Cycle of Rape Culture
Breaking the cycle of sexual violence requires actionable steps and a shift in behavior. Here’s how you can be a part of the solution:
1. Call Out Problematic Behavior – Even in Friendships
Imagine a friend makes a sexist joke, saying, “Women are so dramatic about harassment.” It’s easy to laugh awkwardly and move on—but doing so perpetuates rape culture. Instead, respond with, “That’s not funny. Harassment isn’t something people make up.” Calling out problematic comments—even when it feels uncomfortable—helps shift the conversation towards accountability.
Another example: During a party, if you see someone trying to pressure a person into drinking or staying close despite discomfort, step in. Say, “Hey, she said no. Let’s back off.” Small actions like these can interrupt predatory behavior before it escalates.
2. Educate and Empower – At Home and in Schools
Conversations about consent, boundaries, and respect shouldn’t start only after incidents of abuse—they should begin early. For instance, parents can teach children about personal space using language like, “You don’t have to hug someone if you don’t want to.”
Schools can play an essential role too. Campaigns such as “Ask for Consent” in UK institutions teach young people that sexual violence isn’t about miscommunication—it’s about power and control. Normalizing conversations about healthy relationships helps dismantle the myths that sustain rape culture.
3. Support Survivors – Words Matter
If a friend confides in you about an incident of sexual harassment or abuse, your first response matters. Avoid questioning their actions with comments like, “Why didn’t you leave?” Instead, say, “I believe you. What can I do to help?”
It can also help to direct them to organizations like Bertha’s Legacy, which offers counselling and support services. Practical support—like accompanying someone to file a report or helping them research legal options—can make a significant difference. Volunteering with such organizations also ensures that survivors have the resources they need to heal.
4. Make Safe Spaces Safer
If you’re in a position of influence—whether as a business owner, teacher, or community leader—ensure your space is safe for everyone. Establish and enforce zero-tolerance policies for harassment and abuse. For example, workplaces can introduce anonymous reporting systems for misconduct and conduct bystander intervention training.
Even in social situations, being a proactive bystander helps. If you see someone being harassed, intervene by distracting the harasser or checking on the victim. Saying, “Hey, let’s head outside,” to redirect the situation can defuse tensions.
5. Challenge Media Representation
Pay attention to how media portrays relationships, power dynamics, and gender roles. If a TV show glorifies stalking as romantic, talk about it: “This is disturbing—persistence isn’t love; it’s harassment.” Conversations like these raise awareness and help others recognize harmful stereotypes.
You can also support campaigns that demand better media representation. For instance, write to content creators or support initiatives that promote healthier depictions of consent and relationships.
Change Starts with You
The fight against rape culture isn’t just the responsibility of survivors—it’s everyone’s battle. Sexual violence thrives where silence, denial, and harmful narratives persist. By speaking up, holding people accountable, and creating safe spaces, we can build a society where sexual violence is no longer normalized.
You don’t need to wait for someone else to take the first step. Become a volunteer or donor with Bertha’s Legacy today. Small actions—whether challenging a harmful joke or supporting a survivor—create ripple effects that save lives. The question is: Will you be part of the change, or will you let silence speak for you?
Comments